Welcome Home

Posted in Anxiety, Chronic Pain, Communication, Depression, Emotion Regulation, Events, Self Care, Stress on 04/26/2013 by Amber

I can’t believe it’s been over a month since my last blog post!  Time sure does fly…  I’ve been busy getting settled in to my new office in a stunning healing center called The Conscious Station:  An Energy Medicine Sanctuary.  It is so wonderful to come to my new office and feel completely at home.  If you’ve been to my office, you know that comforting feeling I’m talk about.  And if you haven’t been here yet, we’re having a Grand Opening celebration on Saturday, May 11th.  Click on the picture to the left for a flyer with all the details.  If you’re in the Los Angeles area, I hope you’ll join us!  In the meantime, here is a lovely poem that also speaks of arriving home.  I read it in the May/June 2013  issue of Spirituality & Health magazine and I hope you’ll enjoy it as much I did.

Love after Love
by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will great yourself arriving
at your own door,
in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome
and say, sit here.  Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine.  Give bread.
Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit.  Feast on your life.

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At Ease, Shoulders!

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/20/2013 by Amber

I’m sharing a link today from my mentor, Ginger Garner, MPT, ATC, regarding how to help our shoulders work smarter instead of harder.  Shoulder issues are common among my clientele, whether due to the everyday stress of sitting at a computer or the physical aspects of emotional issues.  People who are depressed tend to hold their heads forward and down, slumping the shoulders.  And anxiety or trauma tends to create a LOT of holding in the body.  All of this translates as tightness, soreness, and pain.   This mind-body link is why I am a Professional Yoga Therapist!

Here is the link:  http://www.gingergarner.com/2013/03/16/work-smarter-not-harder-in-the-shoulder-use-yoga/   Enjoy!

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Fighting Dragons

Posted in Anxiety, Chronic Pain, Emotion Regulation, Grief and Loss, Relationships, Self Care, Trauma on 03/14/2013 by Amber
Sharing another quote today that I love.  I believe I first heard of Rainer Maria Rilke in the movie Kissing Jessica Stein.  At any rate, I enjoy his work, full of depth and soul.  When my focus gets too narrow, his words remind me to take a broader perspective.  To your joyful life!
 
“How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races—the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses.  Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are only princesses waiting for us to act, just once, with beauty and courage.  Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”
 
~ Rainer Maria Rilke
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* Clip art from www.clipartheaven.com
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Resistance

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/07/2013 by Amber

Resistance is a common word in the psychotherapy world, particularly in the long-term therapy models.  It’s often used to describe what we do not do:  how we do not follow through with a therapist’s recommendations or how we do not bring up things that might be helpful to discuss.  But honestly, whenever I hear the word, I can’t help but think of the infamous Borg from Star Trek TNG:  “Resistance is futile.  You will be assimilated.”  Yes, that’s right, I’m a TNG Trekkie.  Many of the episodes don’t hold up now, but I watched the series religiously in my teens and when I see the show on TV now, I often have to tune in!

I’ve noticed some interesting resistance in my own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors lately.  I checked Facebook three times during my morning yoga practice today because I did NOT want to be on that mat!  I’ve taken on some bold new projects:  moving into a new office space, trying to get my research published, and exploring writing opportunities.  All of this expansion seems to have led to some resistance, or you might even call it contraction.  This is totally normal (and in tune with the rhythms of nature), though it can be annoying and keep us from growing.  Resistance can look like negative or doubting thoughts, adamant refusal to complete tasks related to something new, avoiding taking needed actions by disappearing into TV shows and other entertainment, or even withdrawing from social contact.  Our ego and lower self are tricky little tricksters and will make us think, feel, or do (and not do) almost anything to keep things status quo, even when it means we stay stuck and in emotional or physical pain.

So, you might be asking, how do I deal with this resistance?  First, you need to notice that you are experiencing internal resistance.  One way to help with this is to practice mindfulness or other activities that encourage the development of our “objective observer” or “witness.”  Yoga, tai chi,  and meditation are just a few such practices.  We don’t have to get caught up in the drama of our thoughts and feelings, but can instead step back and objectively notice what’s happening inside ourselves.  Second, I find that acknowledging and embracing my own resistance is helpful.  Many of us are so quick to reject these less pleasant aspects of ourselves, but rejecting them just keeps us fragmented and in denial, when what we need to do is integrate all these paradoxical qualities we have.  I welcome you to acknowledge your resistance next time it arises, to embrace it, to be curious about it, and to perhaps even have a conversation with it about how it thinks it’s helping you.  Enjoy the natural ebb and flow of your Self!  Here’s to your joyful life!

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Giant Shoulders

Posted in Communication, Relationships, Self Care, Trauma on 02/27/2013 by Amber

I’m not sure if you know this, but I’m a big fan of Colin Hay.  If you aren’t familiar with him, you might recognize him from his time with Men at Work.  He is an incredible singer / songwriter and his music is like therapy for me:  inspiring, moving, containing.  At his concerts, he tells some really funny stories.  One of them involves Sting and his “yoga shoulders.”  I don’t remember the point of the story, but I remember almost falling out of my chair laughing.  And for some reason, I was thinking about these things this week and remembered the quote…

If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. ~ Isaac Newton

This whole thought process (welcome to my brain!) got me to thinking about how grateful I am for all the tremendous teachers and mentors and supporters I’ve had in my life.  From my parents, friends, and husband to various colleagues, healers, and teachers along my way, they’ve all celebrated with me, challenged me, and encouraged me when I wanted to quit.  This continues the theme from last week about the importance of relationships in our lives.  None of us can do this whole life thing alone.  We need each other.  And this can be an especially challenging thing when we have been hurt by others.

So whether you’ve had a giant’s shoulders to stand on, or you’ve been the strong support for others, here are some questions to ponder…  How do you know…  when someone is toxic for you?  when someone is a healthy, supportive presence in your life?  when it’s your ego telling you stay away, as opposed to your soul speaking?  And how do you keep the toxic folks at bay?  I know, these are big questions that often don’t have clear answers.  Here’s to the ongoing process of finding our truth (and maybe finding a few giant shoulders to carry us when we need it).

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Every Cloud

Posted in Communication, Depression, Emotion Regulation, Grief and Loss, Relationships on 02/20/2013 by Amber

openclipart.orgThey say “every cloud has a silver lining.”  I’m not totally convinced that’s true.  I know we all get encouraged to “look on the bright side,” but some clouds are altogether menacing and horrible.  Right?  I don’t know about you, but when I’m in a dark and stormy place, the last thing I want to hear is, “Look on the bright side…”  Nope.  Not doing it.  When you’re down in the darkness, there is no bright side, or at least it feels that way.  Could just be my stubborn side talking, but when I’m in the muck, I want to know there is someone who will hold me, comfort me, and wait with me for the storm to pass.  Sometimes life gives us storms of pain:  swirling, twisting, gut-wrenching.  In addition, life gives us unimaginable  joy and delight.  So there they are — joy and pain — forever connected in a paradoxical dance.

I got to thinking about this as I watched Silver Linings Playbook this weekend.  It was a tremendous movie that handles the subject of mental health quite well.  Except for the therapist; I really dislike the way Hollywood portrays therapists with such wild inaccuracy.  I suppose it’s a hazard of my job…  I have a hard time watching any TV show or movie with a therapist in it!  Anywho, this movie was otherwise very well done and I took away from it the message that no matter how messed up we are (or think we are), there is always the potential for deep connection and healing with others.  And another thing…  All healing happens in relationship.  We cannot heal alone.  So often in our lives, we were harmed via our relationships, so doesn’t it follow that we would need to heal via relationship?  Interestingly enough, neuroscience research backs this up; see Dr. Dan Siegel’s work on interpersonal neurobiology for more on that.  This isn’t to say that everyone needs therapy, but… Come on, who are we kidding?  We could all benefit!  Every relationship we have is a potential source of healing.  We get our issues reflected back to us quite quickly in relationships and that forces us to grow (this was one early clue that my now husband was perfect for me:  he called me on my “stuff”!).  I think that even the toxic relationships we have in our lives are a source for healing, for standing up for ourselves, and declaring that we are worth more.  So how are you learning, growing, and healing in your relationships right now?

To a joyful life!

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Sounds of Healing

Posted in Emotion Regulation, mental health, mindfulness on 02/13/2013 by Amber

I watched an amazing documentary this past weekend.  Entitled Sound City, it was directed by Dave Grohl, of Nirvana and Foo Fighters fame.  Why am I writing about a documentary, you ask?  And what’s the deal with my #MusicMonday posts on Facebook and Twitter?  If you keep up with this blog, it’s no secret that I love music and I have found music to be supportive of my own journey of healing and growth over the years.  Whether it’s subtle, soothing tones or wild, cathartic ones, music is a vehicle to express emotion.  And you and I both know how much emotion we’re all stuffing down and holding onto ALL the time!  Music can facilitate the release that we all need.

So when I found out about this documentary, I knew I had to see it.  Turns out, it was even better than I had imagined.  Although the central topic of the documentary is the Sound City recording studio in Van Nuys, California, it’s really a story of how people are at the core of all creative endeavors.  It’s people that make cool things happen.  We might use tools and machines to help us, but ultimately it comes down to people.  People like you and I.  People who live and love and work hard to make those cool things happen.  There was one brilliant quote by Mick Fleetwood, who said something like, “You can do it alone.  But you’ll be a whole lot happier if you do it with other human beings.”  I’ve seen a lot of creative types isolate themselves, often because they/we are so sensitive to others’ energy that simply being around people can be overwhelming.  But in the end, what we need to create and to heal is each other. 

If you’ve been trying to heal or create something on your own and it hasn’t worked the way you’d like it to, maybe it’s time to reach out and get a refreshing, outside perspective (by the way, I offer services worldwide by phone or Skype).  Somewhere inside of you, there is something waiting…  waiting to be shared…  waiting to be created… waiting to be healed.   Enough with the waiting.  Take action toward your best life today.  Here’s to your joyful life!

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Buzz Buzz Buzz

Posted in Addiction, mindfulness, Self Care, Stress on 02/06/2013 by Amber

Today marks my 22nd day without any caffeine.  Woot!  Last time I did this, I made it 21 days and then fell off the wagon again.  So I’m proud of myself for making it just one additional day this time.  I decided to stop my caffeine intake because it’s really not good for me.  I’m one of those people with a vata constitution; in other words, I have lots of energy and often have to work a bit harder than others to stay focused and grounded.  Caffeine, therefore, just tends to burn me out.  And I realized that I was only craving caffeinated drinks when I wasn’t taking good care of myself.  That is, when I don’t take enough time to rest, relax, and simply enjoy life, I have trouble sleeping and then I’m tired the next day and wanting caffeine to get me through.  Such a never-ending cycle!

So I decided to break that cycle.  I’m now enjoying a variety of herbal teas throughout the day when I’m wanting a warm, comforting treat, and I’m back to drinking enough water for my body.  The first few days were pretty difficult.  I had lots of protesting thoughts and physical discomfort, including headaches and lots of yawning.  Once that passed, though, I noticed that I was actually feeling better overall.  I’m sleeping much better and being more thoughtful about taking time to rest and enjoy being with my self, my family, and my friends.  What a concept!  All this is not to say that caffeine is “bad” in and of itself.  Plenty of research points to caffeine’s benefits and there are certain physical/emotional constitutions that respond well to caffeine.  I just know that I’m not one of them.  This is the important part of establishing a health practice for yourself…  knowing what your unique needs are.  Every body is literally different!  (By the way, I can help you identify your needs with a Professional Yoga Therapy evaluation)

Because I am a professional healing facilitator, I think it’s important to “walk my talk” and actually embody the practices that I recommend to my clients.  How many doctors have you seen drinking soda after soda, or smoking, or overeating?  They know better (or they should), so why are they still doing it?  Honestly, it’s probably because they are just as flawed as you and I…  which is why we all need a little outside encouragement and accountability at times.  I like to share these kinds of stories (and triumphs) with you, so you know that whatever your health goals and challenges are, you are not alone and you can succeed.  And perhaps most importantly, I am human, too.  As we like to say in the therapy world, “relapse is part of recovery,” whatever you are recovering from.  I couldn’t get past 21 days before, so I quit trying for about 9 months, then I tried again.  Whatever your health-related successes and relapses have been, I encourage you to try again and keep moving forward.  A healthier you awaits!
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*My travel mug, steeping a bag of Ginger Yogi Tea.  Ginger is great for warming up the body and mind, perfect for cold days and sluggish mornings!

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Loneliness

Posted in Anxiety, Emotion Regulation, Self Care, slow living, Stress on 01/30/2013 by Amber

I’ve been posting quite a bit of poetry lately.  I think this is mostly because I absolutely love music and poetry.  They are two things that stir my soul, flush out the pain, remind me who I really am, and bring me back to center when something has knocked me off course (whether that’s my own thoughts or some external event).  I also love that poetry and songs (which are just poetry set to music) develop different meanings as we grow and change, continuing to give us new perspectives that support the lessons we are currently learning.  Thinking of what I wanted to post this week, I remembered the poem below, a long-time favorite.  I feel it speaks to the many different paths our lives can take and how being alone can be a vibrant, life-giving experience.  Taking time to meditate, pray, heal, or just be still helps us to more deeply know ourselves and integrate our higher and lower qualities.  So perhaps  next time you find yourself feeling “lonely,” consider transforming your experience into one of deeper connection with yourself and the Divine.  Here’s to your joyful life!

Song
by Adrienne Rich

You’re wondering if I’m lonely:
OK then, yes, I’m lonely
as a plane rides lonely and level
on its radio beam, aiming
across the Rockies
for the blue-strung aisles
of an airfield on the ocean.

You want to ask, am I lonely?
Well, of course, lonely
as a woman driving across country
day after day, leaving behind
mile after mile
little towns she might have stopped
and lived and died in, lonely

If I’m lonely
it must be the loneliness
of waking first, of breathing
dawn’s first cold breath on the city
of being the one awake
in a house wrapped in sleep

If I’m lonely
it’s with the rowboat ice-fast on the shore
in the last red light of the year
that knows what it is, that knows it’s neither
ice nor mud nor winter light
but wood, with a gift for burning

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Celebrate Today!

Posted in Chronic Pain, Depression, Holidays, Self Care, slow living on 01/23/2013 by Amber

Monday was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day here in the U.S.  This was a day of celebration for a tremendous leader who was fiercely gentle in his approach to civil disobedience.  His passionate leadership guided this nation through so much turmoil.  His message of hope and freedom has sustained various civil rights movements throughout history, leaving a tremendous legacy long after he was brutally taken from this world.  I also thought it was poignant that the inauguration of President Barack Obama into his second term of office was held on this day.  Regardless of your politics, it seems clear to me that one person can very much make a difference, even decades later.

Because my office was closed for the day, I took this wonderful opportunity to get some work done in my pajamas.  Why is it that work is so much easier when done on the couch in jammies? :)  There really is something to the notion of sitting back, relaxing, and letting the ideas flow.  Later that day, I was invited to spend the afternoon with my dear friend Shelly Prosko, who owns Prosko Physio-Yoga Therapy.  She is also a colleague of mine from Professional Yoga Therapy Studies and we share a passion for helping people heal through the use of therapeutic movement and breath.   It was such fun to hang out at the beach, run our fingers through the sand, and enjoy each other’s company.  We spent the afternoon catching up on life, family, and the joys and challenges of running our own businesses.  Shelly is here in L.A. to present a series of yoga workshops.  One of those workshops is “Happy Hearts, Healthy Backs” coming up this Sunday, January 27th, from 2-5pm at Peace Yoga Gallery in Downtown L.A.  She is an amazing yoga therapist and both of us would love to see you there!

All of this is to say, whatever you are spending your day doing, I hope you celebrate it!  Whether you are doing something you enjoy, or feeling sad, or at the precipice of a major change…  Celebrate!!  (Yes, I said celebrate even your sadness; more on that later)   You are alive and uniquely you.  The world needs YOU, just as you are.   Sending warm wishes…  to your joyful life!
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Pic is of Shelly and I at the beach, January 2013.

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