Soulful Healing

This week, we continue with the Body Meets Soul series.  This is an ongoing discussion about the koshas, or different layers of human experience.  So far, I’ve written about the physical body, energetic body, and emotional body as unique aspects of our awareness.  This week, I’ll turn to the intellectual body.

Vijnyanamayakosha

Pronounced vig-nee-AWN-uh-mai-uh-KOH-shuh, this layer of human experience is governed by the intellect or wisdom.  This is not to be confused with knowledge, ego, or cleverness.  This layer is concerned with intelligence, conscience, and wisdom.  This kind of intelligence is that of wise discernment, not an inflated sense of self-importance.  The goal of wisdom is to unify our individual consciousness with our cosmic consciousness.  When first learning about these concepts of individual and cosmic consciousness, it was described to me as the difference between the small “s” self and the big “S” Self.  You might think about it this way…  There is a you that, when left to its own devices, may do whatever it takes to uphold the status quo, maintain inertia, make decisions that benefit only you.  We might call this the ego or the small “s” self.  Then there is the You that is your Higher Self, the one that perhaps believes in compassion, loving-kindness, and caring for the world around you.  These aspects of the self can often be found arguing with another…  Do I do what my ego wants to do right now  (“Food, drink, sex, pleasure, distraction… NOW!”)?  Or do I follow the path to which my Soul is calling me (faith, patience, perseverance, stillness, quiet)?  Remember that food, drink, sex, pleasure, and distraction are not problematic in and of themselves and can indeed be full of soul…   And that is the key question:  How can you make this next action one that connects you to your Soul?

In her book The Places That Scare You, Pema Chödrön writes, “It’s hard to know whether to laugh or to cry at the human predicament.  Here we are with so much wisdom and tenderness, and – without even knowing it – we cover it over to protect ourselves from insecurity.  Although we have the potential to experience the freedom of a butterfly, we mysteriously prefer the small and fearful cocoon of ego.”  Insecurity and fear are emotions that can prevent us from connecting to our inner wisdom, our God-consciousness.  We experience these emotions and tense up, gripping, grasping, holding on for dear life.  Yet when we are able to soften our outer defenses, turn our attention inward, our wisdom can point us to our truth.  Try this as an example…  Tighten up your fists, really squeeze, feel the discomfort and watch your knuckles whiten.  Nothing can flow through when your hands are clenched this way.  Now open your hands, allow the discomfort to pass, feel the softness of hands willing to accept whatever they find.  Here we connect to the flow of life force and energy that is always moving around and through us.

My earlier statement that intellect and wisdom should not be confused with knowledge is not to say that knowledge is a bad thing.  In fact, self study and spiritual study are great ways to exercise our wisdom.  It is just that our educational achievements can puff up the ego, getting in the way of truth.  You are not your education.  You are not your job or career or lack thereof.  You are not the clothes you wear or the car you drive or the stuff you collect.  I know…  Our society says that you are and measures your worth based on these things.  But when you connect to your Higher Self, you know better than all that.  You know that health, family, and friends are all far more important than how many square feet your house is.  And if these first three are hard to come by in your life, then contentment in the struggle is something to strive for.  Radical acceptance of the present moment.  Seeking wisdom may involve asking yourself, “What is this moment trying to teach me right now?” particularly if the moment is something you want to run from.  Another question is, “How can I share what I have learned with others?”  This kind of sharing may be in a formal classroom or it may be in the simple act of a smile or hug or laugh or nod of understanding.  When connecting to your wisdom and sharing this with others, what you do does not matter as much as how you do it…  Approach the next moment, person, place, thing with loving-kindness and see what your own wisdom has to teach you today.  Have a wisdom-filled week, my friends!

If you are just tuning in to this five part series on the different aspects of human experience, you can click accordingly to read Part One and Part Two.  We are slowly making our way from the physical realm to the spiritual realm, exploring how we bridge the disconnect between the two.

Manomayakosha

Manomayakosha (MAH-nuh-MAI-uh-KOH-shuh) is the mental or emotional body.  This layer governs consciousness, memory, ego, perception, and emotions.   It is distinct from intelligence and discernment, which is the next layer.  Have you ever observed your mind to be like a hamster running in a wheel?  Welcome to your manomayakosha.  In exploring this layer of experience, we might first look at some of its challenges.  The ego-mind is impulsive and desires immediate gratification.  It resists things that require time and effort to achieve.  This is also sometimes called the small “s” self.  By that I mean that we often identify very strongly with our thoughts and feelings.  Consider Descartes’ famous statement, “I think, therefore I am.”  Yet we are so much more than the incessant thoughts and fluctuating emotions that pass through our soul-body each day.  The self is different from the Self…  The former being more ego-driven, the latter being Spirit-driven.

Sure, our thoughts and feelings are very real to us.  Sometimes they are so real that it is hard to know what is true and what is simply the hamster running in its wheel.  Our ego-mind is frequently occupied with the pain from the past or worries about the future.  Despite our best efforts, these ramblings take us away from the present moment.  And it is in the present moment where true contentment can be found.  The beauty of this interplay between body, breath, mind, intellect, and spirit is that we get to decide which of our thoughts and feelings have merit, which to set aside, and which to act upon.  Granted, this is typically easier said than done!  In yoga, we emphasize how consistent asana practice and breathwork help us to better manage the fleeting emotions that swirl through us in each moment.  Have you ever noticed how you when you get a good workout, you breathe more fluidly and your thoughts/emotions settle down?  One of my colleagues notes that when she has particularly stressful days, she sets aside time to practice Muay Thai to help slough off the stress (momentary tanget — Interestingly enough, Wikipedia taught me that “muay thai” is called the “Art of Limbs”.  Yoga also has eight limbs, which I’ll review in future posts!).

Consider in the coming week what role your ego-mind plays in how you care for your energetic and physical body.  Are you taking good care of your body, breath/energy, and emotions?  Do you give too much of your Self?  Or perhaps too little?  And how do you know the difference?  Also, what messages is your ego-mind sending your Self?  Nurturing and gentle; or harsh and critical?  Yes, many questions and not so many clear answers.  But this is the process of personal growth and self-awareness.  One awakening, followed by trial and error with our new knowledge, then further consciousness.  One foot in front of the other…  Inhale…  Exhale…  Inhale…  Exhale…

Last week, I began a 5-part series discussing the koshas.   This is the yogic term for the layers of our being:  body, breath, mind/emotions, intellect, and spirit.  This week, let’s take a closer look at how our breath affects our ability to connect body and soul.

Pranamayakosha

Pranamayakosha (PRAH- nah-MAI-uh-KOH-shuh) is the breath or energetic body.  In yoga, prana means life energy.  Other familiar terms for this concept include chi or life force.  In Christian traditions, it is called the Holy Spirit.  To grasp this concept, consider how we don’t usually see electricity, but we know it is there; same thing with our life energy.  The yogis understand that we can increase or decrease or balance our energy levels through the use of various breathing practices called pranayama.  If you are a regular yoga practitioner, you may be familiar with one of form of pranayama called ujjayi (oo-jy-ee).  Translated as Victorious Breath, Conqueror Breath, or Ocean-Sounding Breath, it is a common staple in yoga classes because this breath technique helps us to steady our breathing and match the flow of breath to the movement of the body.

Breathing is something we usually do unconsciously and yet it is the most important life-sustaining activity we can do.  According to one article at eHow.com, “brain cells are destroyed after 4 to 6 minutes without oxygen”.  Beyond issues of life and death, mere shallow breathing contributes to anxiety, stress, and physical tension.  In my work in mental health, I have come to understand that attention to and mastery of the breath is the single most effective strategy we have for regulating our emotions.  Consider this:  when our emotions become worried or stressed, our breath becomes shallow and rapid, then the body develops physical tension.  Utilizing the breath, we can calm the nervous system, balance the emotions, and relieve our physical tension.  I frequently find myself watching others’ breathing patterns and wanting to reach out to them to share some deep breathing techniques.  Granted, I probably ought to stay focused on my own breath patterns, but we’re all works in progress right?

Initially, the practice of attending to our breath patterns can be disconcerting because when the body and breath become still, we must listen to the ridiculous chatter of our feelings and thoughts.  Yet with consistent practice, it becomes easier to recognize when our body or or thoughts have become constricted and how to use our breath to bring some ease back into our experience.  So the practice of breathwork, however you approach it, can bring you physical relaxation, mental clarity, emotional steadiness, and spiritual connectedness.  I can’t think of any other activity that can bring one a greater sense of true joy!  As you journey through the week ahead, try noticing how your breath connects your body, mind, and soul.  Consider trying some of the deep breathing strategies you may have heard about, whether in this blog, in your yoga class, or somewhere else out there in cyberspace.  In closing, I’ll leave you with a Bible verse that speaks to this concept of breath as life-giving energy:  “The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”  – Job 33:4.  Thank you for reading and have a joyful week!

Please note: While I am most familiar with Christianity, I welcome you to share quotes or verses from your own religious, spiritual, or secular explorations by leaving a comment below.

During a recent discussion on yoga’s therapeutic benefits, one of my colleagues asked me, “What’s it like to have a stress-free life?”  I know this colleague was mostly joking, but it was a good conversation starter.  I laughed and said that I have anything but a stress-free life.   Mindfulness is not about eliminating stress from your life, it’s about changing the way you respond to that stress.  That may not be what any of us wants to hear…  I have certainly wished that mindfulness and meditation and yoga could get rid of the stressful things in my life.  But they don’t.  What they do, instead, is make it easier for us to separate ourselves from our stress.  That way, we stop being defined by our automatic reactions to events and begin to choose our thoughts/words/actions more carefully.

I know…  this may be disheartening news to some of you.  If you can’t make the stress go away, why bother practicing mindfulness at all?  Here’s the tricky thing, though:  separating your Self from your stress does make the stress go away in a manner of speaking.  For years, one of my mentors would describe to me how it was possible for me to watch the drama unfold around me without getting caught up in it.  I tried and tried and tried and had a pretty tough time of it.  I suppose it’s one of the hazards of being a professional empath, this soaking up of other people’s emotions as if they were my own.  But when I really started to delve into the breathwork and meditative practices of yoga, I started to understand what my mentor was saying.  I was slowly able to sit in the presence of people’s emotions and hold on to my sense of Self.  Sometimes it was only for a few moments, sometimes much longer, but there it was.

I won’t try to tell you that I’ve mastered this skill now.  I’m certainly better at it than I used to be and there are a variety of situations that cut through my equilibrium…  people who drive dangerously, stories about the darker sides of humanity, those that would play the shame & blame game with me…  These are just a few of my triggers.  I get flustered, I get tense, I get judgmental.  Not my best moments, by far!  Yet I imagine these triggers will always be there in one form or another, so there is always room for me to improve   I guess what I want you to know is that coping more effectively with your daily stresses is indeed possible.  Plus, it is never too late to start.  If you’ve been wanting to find some peacefulness in the chaos of your everyday experience, begin the practice today.  Know that it is not easy and takes commitment, but try to love what you find in the clutter of your thoughts.  If you would like some guidance in your journey, here are just a few of the many great resources for mindfulness, meditation, and yoga:

Yoga Therapist Finder
InsightLA
Mindful Valley
Yoga Alliance
Yoga Finder
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction
Learning Meditation

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and have a mindful week!

Hi everyone!  I’m so glad to be back here at my computer, typing away on this blog.  I hadn’t intended to take two weeks off from blogging, but my health had other plans.  I’ve been fighting off a couple of bugs and needed time to rest and recuperate.  When I wasn’t sleeping or otherwise resting in the past two weeks, I spent a good amount of time with my plants.  Nurturing the growth of plants and flowers is a wonderful way to develop our own healthy habits.  Since I’m based in Los Angeles, many of my mindfulness and healing suggestions are centered around the challenges of urban living.

I grew up in a small town, where there is plenty of land and space and trees and other green stuff.  My parents still have an extensive garden with seasonal vegetables, fresh herbs, and shockingly colorful flowers.  So I grew up appreciating green spaces and that sticks with me today, even in the urban landscape around me (just last night, I saw wild clover growing around a tree near a favorite restaurant and got excited!).  Having a lush garden can be difficult in the high density housing most of us in urban places occupy.  Unless, that is, you happen to be lucky to have a house with a good chunk of land (and that’s hard to come by even in this low real estate market).

Regardless of how much land surrounds your current residence, you can still keep a few plants around to help lift your mood.  I have several potted plants, some for indoors and others for outdoors, including a small herb garden.  If you enjoy cooking, fresh herbs are really the bee’s knees.  They taste more vibrant than the dried kind you’ll find at the grocery stores and, with the right amounts of water & love &  sunshine, they are endlessly renewable.  You can stop spending $3 each for a plastic box with two sprigs of thyme in it, and either buy a few herb plants or grow your own from seed.  And think of how great it will be next time you need parsley to flavor a dish and don’t have to buy a huge bunch of it, most of which will go to waste.  Growing your own herbs is more affordable, better for your taste buds, and will add that spark of new life to your kitchen or patio.

If fresh herbs aren’t your thing and the idea of growing things is intimidating, you might try getting some succulent plants (think cactus) that don’t need a lot of water or hardy, tropical plants that are hard to kill even if you ignore them for weeks.  Go to your favorite nursery (not the baby’s room…  the place where they grow and sell green things) and ask what kinds of plants might be good for your lifestyle.  There are also lots of “kits” these days where you can get a pot, soil, starter plant, and instructions all in one.  There are also ingenious indoor gardening set-ups that can have you growing even things like tomatoes right in your own kitchen.

Lastly, if you want to hone your gardening skills but don’t have the space for it, you might check out a local community garden.  These gardens that are tended to by any group of people are a great way to develop new friendships, preserve open space in increasingly urban communities, and be able to grow your own food even when you live in a small apartment.  Community gardens also help educate children about where food really comes from and they often help low-income communities and food banks improve access to fresh, healthy, affordable fruits and vegetables.  To learn more about community gardens in your area, check out the following resources:
– Los Angeles Community Garden Council
— American Community Gardening Association
— Capital District Community Gardens (upstate New York)
— GardenWeb

Here’s to your health and wellness!  Happy gardening!

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been working on this three-part series on self-reflection.  In Self-Reflection, Part 1, I go over the various benefits of engaging in a self-reflective practice.  In Self-Reflection, Part 2, I share some ideas for bringing more reflective experiences into your life.  Here, in the third and final installment, I’d like to discuss some of the signs that one might be doing too much self-reflection.  It’s all about balance, as we are forever dancing between seemingly opposing concepts.

Too Much of a Good Thing

Like so many helpful practices we can use to further our personal growth, self-reflection has many benefits.  There does come a time, though, when it may be too much.  Remember the myth of Narcissus?  He fell in love with his own reflection and wasted away.  This kind of self-obsession is possible for us, with the symbolic shriveling of our other relationships.  Remember in all of this that your relationship with yourself is not the only relationship you have.  Relationships must be nurtured in order to thrive.  Be careful to balance your self-relationship with those social connections that help you to be a whole person, giving to each relationship what it needs to be sustained.

When utilizing self-reflection as a strategy for personal development, an important distinction to make is between the little “s” self and the big “S” Self.  By little “s” self, I mean the ego, while the big “S” Self represents the Soul. The ego is a tricky character.  Its voice can be whiny and entitled and demanding.  The ego wants what it wants and wants it NOW!  And when the ego’s demands on the rest of your psyche don’t work, it can resort subtle, insidious messages of maintaining the status quo.  It can be challenging to differentiate the voice of the ego from the other aspects of your Self.  Usually, the ego wants anything that is immediately pleasurable and rejects that which requires any effort to achieve.  So as you embark on your chosen self-reflective practices, watch out for a few ego reactions, such as tantrum-like thoughts & emotions, as well as prideful, entitled ones.  The ego may try to trick you into self-obsession, as well.  Anything to keep things exactly as they are!  But the whole idea of self-reflection is to grow and learn, not maintain the status quo, right?

Soulful Self-Reflection

Obsessing over your thoughts, feelings, and actions will not be helpful for you or anyone else in your life.  The idea behind soulful self-reflection is to set aside a specific time to make your observations, then let… them… go…  Release your judgments, worries, and plans over the things you have noticed and allow your Soul to do the rest.  There is so very much about your experience that your mind cannot figure out.  This is where the Soul/Source/God/Higher Power/Great Spirit/I AM comes in.  Trust that just engaging in the process of reflection has done what it is supposed to do:  slow you down, clear out the clutter, and make room in your psyche for your Soul to do its mysterious work.  There’s a reason why some of the best advice we can get is to “sleep on it”.

If you do the best work you can do on the conscious level to sort through the gobbledy-gook of your thoughts and feelings, well, that just needs to be good enough, doesn’t it?  The rest can be sorted out on deeper levels that take time and mystery and the willingness to embrace the unknowable.  And I am certain that there is a hefty part of all of us that is not fully knowable by anyone, at least not by the small percentage of our brains that we are typically using.  A good friend of mine once told me (and I have since shared this with many more friends and colleagues), “Some things you can’t know until you know them.”  Have faith, dear ones.  I believe you will one day have the answers you are looking for.  As for the questions that can’t be answered…  I hope you will learn to trust your Soul.

In closing, I’d like to leave you with a quote that gives me encouragement when my mind is working overtime to understand the magical mystery of this life.  Thanks for reading and enjoy…

“…have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” ~~ Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903, in Letters to a Young Poet

Last week, I started this three-part series on self-reflection.   I discussed some of the reasons taking the time to reflect on our thoughts, feelings, and actions can be helpful to our growth and development.   In today’s second installment on the reflective learning process, I’ll share my thoughts on strategies for turning your attention inward, as well as using that opportunity to strengthen your self-acceptance and reach your personal goals.

How to Self-Reflect
There are numerous ways to engage in self-reflection!  Potentially as many ways as there are people on this planet.  So when it comes to self-reflection, there really are no rules.  You can choose to reflect in a “stream of consciousness” approach, writing/drawing/recording whatever comes to mind.  You can also direct the process by answering questions about yourself.  Good questions to ask yourself when sitting down to self-reflect are:  What am I thinking?  What am I feeling? (yes, thoughts and feelings are different and I’ll be writing about that in a few weeks!)  What situations prompted these thoughts and feelings?  How did I respond?  Was my response consistent with who I want to be?  If the answer to that last question is a “yes”, great!  Give your yourself the credit you deserve.  If the answer is “no”, you may think of ways you might respond differently next time and decide when to implement that plan.  Remember through all of this that self-acceptance is key and sometimes it’s more important to rest than to do more self-improving.

Journaling
Writing in a journal is an excellent way of recording your thoughts, feelings, and actions throughout the day or week.  Why?  Because in order to write your thoughts in coherent sentences, you have to slow down and organize those thoughts.  This helps to get the mind out of its autopilot chatter and figure out exactly what you are thinking.  Recording your thoughts doesn’t have to be done in a traditional book of lined paper.  I have one journal for writing — well, several actually, as I’ve kept journals for years –and one that is more art and poetry oriented (more on that below!).  For the more techy types out there, there are numerous computer programs and websites that can help you keep an electronic journal.  I suggest doing a web search with the following keywords to get more info…  “free private online journal”  or “journal software”.

Artistic Expression
Engaging in something art-full is another way to express yourself and give some order to your thoughts and feelings.  As I mentioned above, I have a journal that I reserve for poetry and artwork (by “artwork”, I mean doodling!).  I have several half-formed poems that I’ve written in response to various life events, everything from restful winter holidays with my family to challenging career experiences.   Journals with unlined pages are available for these kinds of free-form artistic musings.  You can also use large pieces of paper, tiny little scraps, backs of receipts, sticky notes, crayons, markers, colored pencils, paints (tempera, watercolor, acrylic, oh my!), modeling clay, song-writing, singing, playing an instrument, dancing…  If the activity helps get your experiences out of the endless mind-chattering loop and brings you into a space where you can reflect, then it’s self-reflection.  Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy    I have also heard wonderful things about The Artist’s Way, a book and online community about the creative process.  While I’ve never read it myself, others have spoken highly of it.  And there are probably many more resources out there on this subject!

Therapy
You had to know this one was coming, right?  I mean, I am a mental health therapist, after all.  Participating in therapy is a great way to self-reflect and can get you past any stuck points you find in your thought process.  Sometimes our mind-chatter just won’t let things be, we beat ourselves up incessantly and can’t figure out how to stop, or we have self-destructive behavior patterns that don’t change despite our best efforts.  These are times when it may be good to seek out the guidance of a mental health clinician.  Unfortunately, there still exists a hefty amount of stigma around going to therapy.  I am on a personal and professional quest to let people know that going to therapy is not about being “crazy” and needing a “shrink”.  There is an ever-growing body of research on evidence-based practices that point to the effectiveness of goal-directed and structured therapy sessions that can help you overcome the barriers to your emotional and interpersonal goals.  For more information on my holistic mental health practice, visit my Specialties page.  To find a therapist in your area, visit my friend and colleague’s great search site, Therapy4Help.  You can also read more about questions to ask a potential therapist and therapy services in general at PsychCentral.

As with everything, balance is essential.  You don’t want to get too caught up in your own inner workings.  Next week, I’ll conclude this series with a discussion about when self-reflection becomes too much of a good thing.  Between now and then, have an inspired week!  Thanks for reading and be well!